i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
