I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
