he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
