I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
