My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
