I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
