piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
