ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
