I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
