WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize