we're blogging at a bar
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
