Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
