he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
