a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
