every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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