my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Randomize
