Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize