id be glad to
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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