i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I wish you could order shots online.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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