i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize