dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Randomize
