I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize