And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
