You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize