The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
