come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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