um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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