I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
