Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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