Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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