and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
