It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
