New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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