New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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