We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
3pm strippers are depressing
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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