Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
