how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
