I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
