As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
