so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
