In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
