1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
