My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
