would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
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