I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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