I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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