it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
