he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i just google imaged poop.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
