Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
