I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Randomize
