wat bout pragnant strippers??
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
