If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
