I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
