so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
false alarm. still invincible.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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