its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
