she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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