who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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