that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
