Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
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