I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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