It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
