wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Randomize
