And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
