I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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