does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
