That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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