yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize