God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
