Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
