R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
