it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
BRING THE BAGELS
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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