It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
where are my pants?
in the oven.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
