I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
