So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
