never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
