I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
