The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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